Timidus
by mrnaylor930
Summary: The Castle family tries to move onward and upwards after their three years apart. Sequel to Silentium! Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Firstly, thank you for reading! I hope you will enjoy where I am taking this story. **

**Secondly, there is a pretty nice sized time jump so the first two chapters will be catching you up to the events of the present and in between! **

**Enjoy! **

It had been four years since her life had been completely turned on its end. It had been a year since it righted itself again. Well, if she was being honest with herself she would say that things were just now getting back to normalcy, if there is such a thing in the Castle household.

It had been a hard year for their family. When Rick first came back to them there was an overwhelming feeling of happiness and relief. That happiness was short lived as reality soon set in. She was never not happy to have him back and she would be eternally grateful for their second chance, however that did not mean that the road was straight and smooth.

The real trouble began the day after Rick was released from the hospital.

_Paula and Gina had been contacted a few days earlier and had been informed of the situation. There was no way around the media and all the attention this was going to get. The press had hounded the family when he disappeared they could only assume that after three years it would be ten times worse with his return. _

_They set a meeting to discuss the plan of action for a Friday morning, so that Johanna would be at preschool and the adults could speak freely. Alexis had come by that morning and taken her out to breakfast before school and was set to pick her up again at lunch. _

_ The first thirty minutes of the meeting passed with tears and hugs and a lot of explanations. Kate made coffee as Castle told his story, she just couldn't bear to hear all of the details again. Even if he was planning to gloss everything over it the pictures in her mind were becoming worse and worse every time she thought about it. _

_As she returned to the living room with coffee in hand, the two other women sat shocked and speechless. She put her tray down and grabbed a cup for herself, Rick did the same, but Gina and Paula just stared straight ahead. They looked devastated. It was honestly. the most emotion that she had ever seen out of the two women. _

_After a few minutes of silence Paula seemed to have gathered herself enough to get down to business. _

_"Alright, I have put a lot of thought into what we should do about all of this. Any way you slice it the whole world is going to go crazy. I believe that the best thing to do would be to announce your return and immediately hold a press conference. Nothing too big just some cameras and a conference room at the agency. We would, of course, restrict attendance to only the most trusted and reliable sources. Thoughts?" Kate's favorite thing about Paula was her ability to just get down to the point. No emotional speeches, no long drawn out explanations, but a clear and concise plan. _

_"I just don't like the thought of being hounded by questions, picked apart, and thrown to the sharks. You know how much I hate press conferences. And besides I am really not feeling up to it right now. I just want to be with my family right now. Maybe in a few months when everything settles down I will think about an interview. Why can't we just release a statement?"_

_"Richard Castle! You know exactly why. This isn't your first rodeo. Releasing a statement will only produce more questions. They will not be satisfied until they have the entire story. This is the only way that we will be able to control the entire situation. I understand that you have concerns about the safety and privacy of your family. I already have a privacy and protection clause drawn up. There will be no pictures of that little girl in any newspaper or on any television station. I have friends in high places just like you do. Just give me this one thing. Do the press conference, you and Kate together and let me handle the rest." _

_Rick had looked to her for her opinion. He looked like a scared little boy. She hated that he was left feeling so vulnerable and unsure of himself. She knew that he had no idea what to say or do. He needed to know that this was the right decision and that they would all be okay. She gave him a nod of confirmation, wanting him to make the ultimate decision and voice it himself. As long as Joey didn't show up anywhere she was happy. _

_She had gone to Paula once before. Right after the little girl was born the media had gone crazy. There were awful stories about how the baby wasn't Rick's and how she was just after his money. Others just simply followed them around and stood outside the loft to catch a glimpse of the little girl like they were the Jolie-Pitt family. It was really a crazy amount of attention. Kate had gotten fed up with them fast and called the only person who she knew could deal with a thing like that. _

_Paula had been great about it. By the time Kate stepped out the door the next day all of the reporters and cameras were gone. They didn't dare come close to Joey or anyone in the family again. Kate had been so thankful to Paula for that. She felt so helpless not being able to protect her own little girl and she just wanted to give her a normal and happy lifestyle that wasn't tarnished by the lies of the media. _

_"Fine. I'll do it, but I want a complete list of all the attendees and a list of questions beforehand. I don't want to have to play dodge ball." The first sentence was spoken harshly and everyone in the room was a little taken aback. His voice softened considerably before he started again. "Thank you, Paula. Just keep my family out of this alright? Now if you will excuse me I think it's time for my medication again."_

_And that was that. Kate had walked them to the door and thanked both women for everything and apologized for Rick's odd behavior. She promised to have him in the best possible shape for the conference, set up for the next day._

The conference had gone smoothly. All of the questions were generic and Paula had gotten the most reliable media sources to attend, if there was such a thing. Rick had come off looking like a hero returned from a great battle. Kate stood proudly next to him in support and they both smiled through questions about their family and the healing process.

The night of the conference as the news rolled clips and internet sights updated there was a weight lifted from everyone's chest. Paula had even released a statement in tandem with the conference that asked for privacy and eluded to the consequences of trying to bother the younger Castle family members.

The next day was a different story. They had one day of thinking that they would have mostly positive support from the Castle fans and general public, and for the most part they did. The problem lay within the blood sucking gossip sights and celebrity slanderers.

They lined up at the door to the loft and the station to try and shake the family. They were saying awful things about how he faked the whole thing and how he never loved his family enough to stay. They painted him as a deadbeat dad and a liar.

The knives only twisted when social media went up in flames. While most of the people saw through the horrible lies of the press, a select few chose to believe the bad.

Once Rick caught wind of it he went off the deep end. He was furious for a few hours before he retreated into himself and began to believe the things they were saying. He felt like a failure for not being able to come back to his family. He hated himself even more for causing so much chaos and pain.

Kate thought it was crazy and she knew the truth. Alexis did too, and Joey was too young to even notice. They all tried to snap him out of it, but his stubborn streak won out. It only took a few days for them to realize exactly what they needed: a trip to the Hamptons.

They packed their bags and left the whole world behind them. The salty sea, fresh air, and distance were just what they needed. They ended up practically moving into their Hamptons house. They found a therapist for Rick and continued Joey's therapy as well.

Kate had long since memorized the exercises and Ms. Erin traveled up for an extra-long session on Saturdays. She would arrive just after 10AM and sometimes end up staying for dinner. She was aware of the situation and worked with the family as a whole as well as Joey in the weeks to come.

Rick was falling into the darkness fast. It put a strain on his relationships with the whole family as he tried to bottle it up inside. He was afraid to burden them all with his issues and felt as if he had already hurt them enough by not being there. One night, after a particularly brutal fight three weeks into their Hamptons stay, Kate had finally had enough.

_"Just leave me alone! I'm fine, just go back outside with the girls." Rick bellowed through the bathroom door. Kate, Alexis, and Johanna had all been outside roasting marshmallows, stargazing, and telling stories for the better part of the evening. They invited Rick to join them, but he had declined and spent his evening hulled up in the living room staring at a blank screen, claiming to be writing. _

_When the family had moved inside to watch a movie before bed he had quickly gotten up and walked up the stairs and into the bedroom. The look of hurt on Alexis' face was enough for Kate to snap. She had finally gotten her father back and this is how he acted. They all just wanted him to be happy and for them all to be a family and he was making it extremely difficult. _

_Kate had left their girls to start the movie on their own and went up to the bedroom. This had been going on for weeks and it was a constant battle. Tonight was the final straw. It was time for him to snap out of it and become a member of this family. She had always dreamed of getting to see him be a father again and now he was wasting his chance. _

_When she knocked on the bedroom door and heard his response she went off. "Castle, this is ridiculous! You have got to pull yourself together. I know that you are hurting, but locking yourself away from your family is only going to make things worse. We love you and we want to help you. You have no blame in this situation, except for when you walk away. You have two of the best human beings on the planet downstairs waiting on their Daddy. _

_They need you, Rick. They have gone without you for too long and they do not deserve that. They are hurting too. They are confused and conflicted. You should see their faces when you refuse to eat dinner with us or when you skip out on a movie night or when you don't come to tell them goodnight. Alexis gets this heartbroken look on her face. It's like having to tell her that her father is gone all over again day after day. _

_And Joey is just so confused. She needs a rock. She needs to find as much solid ground as she can and I told that little girl that you loved her and that you wanted to be there for her. You made me a liar, Rick, and I never lie to our little girl. You should see the look in her eyes. It's like she isn't good enough and even though she has never been close to you she needs you to be there." _

_At that the bathroom door flew open and Rick came storming out. _

_"Thank you, Kate!" The words were spit out of his mouth like fire. "As if I needed another reminder of all of the damage I have caused this family. I am the reason that for all the pain and suffering. And all I do is bring more pain. I'm not even strong enough to find a way back to my family, there is no way I can be anyone's rock. I'm such a mess. I could never live up to Alexis' opinion of me. I'm not the great father she thinks I am and I can't bear to disappoint her. They're better off without me. I don't want them to get too attached." _

_He looked so ashamed and so broken. Her heart broke for him one second and then hardened right back. This was her family. She never thought she would get to have this. Once her mother died and then when Rick was taken from her, there was no hope of ever getting to have this. Yet, here she was on her third and quite possibly her last chance at a family and darn if she was going to let him mess it up. _

_"What about me, Rick? You are my rock and my solid ground. You have saved me more times than you will ever know. Please, just let me help you too. I love you, Rick, and I need you. I have been doing all of this alone for the last three years, and I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but you need to hear it. I have done this alone. I have done my very best and worked my very hardest to be what our girls need, but that's not good enough. They need their Father and I need my partner. _

_"We are all healing from the last few years, but we need to heal together. I have already been through this once. My dad and I healed separately after my mom died and we all know how that turned out. It took you disappearing to put us completely back together again. I have been through the pain of being so close to a parent and not being able to lean on them and always wondering why I wasn't good enough. I will not put them through that. Alexis is an adult and she can make her own decisions, but Joey is still too young. She cannot afford to get used to someone only to lose them again. _

_"Honestly, you are one of the most intelligent people I know. You cannot be seriously letting these random, ignorant people get to you. I know the lies hurt, but no one here believes them and you can't either. You are a good man and a good father. I know you fought to come back to us, because there is no way you wouldn't. I love you so much, and I believe in you. Even if you don't believe in yourself right now, we all believe in you. _

_"Rick please don't make me do this alone. I have missed you so much it hurts and I need you to just stay with me. I can't go through losing you again, but I have to protect Joey. Either we do this together or I will go alone. It's your choice…" She trailed off as the tears ran down her face. She was so tired of being alone and she just wanted her fiancé back. _

_He was ready to walk away. He was so sure that he was bad for them. He just didn't want to hurt them anymore and he felt the only way to do that was to distance himself from the ones he loved. But now, seeing the hurt in Kate's eyes and feeling the weight of her words as they sunk into him was enough to convince him otherwise. She was right. He did need to be a father and even if he was still healing he never wanted to put his daughters in a position to feel as though it was their fault. And he never wanted to make the situation worse. _

_His heart ached for Kate. He never wanted her to feel alone. He wanted to be a better man for her, always had. And even more than that, he needed her like he needed air. He needed her to keep him grounded. He needed her to help him through all of this and she was willing. He had tried to put distance in between them for her sake, but clearly what they both needed was each other. He needed to stop putting stock in those who meant to hurt him and believe in those who loved him. _

_Most of all, he wanted to take all of the pain and stress from her eyes and from her heart and melt them away. He hated that he was the one to make her cry. He was only trying to protect her and yet he had made things worse. For that there was no excuse and he had to try and make it right. _

_He took a few steps and enveloped her in his arms. He hadn't touched her in days and it had been at least two weeks since they had hugged. He was ashamed at the amount of time it had been since he held her like this. _

_She broke immediately and sobbed helplessly in his arms. He was just beginning to realize just how hard this continuously was on her. She was hearing what they said too and she was just as alone as he was. She was the one that had been strong through all of this. She had been taking care of everyone and not leaving herself any time to heal. _

_He let her cry as he held her and rocked her back and forth. He whispered promises to her. He promised her that she would never be alone again. He promised her that she was the love of his life and that he was in this for their family forever. He promised her the world and everything in it while she cried against him. _

_He cradled her as if she was the most precious thing in the world. To him she was, and he would not take her for granted again. They were stronger together as partners and they would heal together and make it through this._

_As her sobs turned into cries which turned into sniffles, a sort of calm washed over them. She had been holding three years of feelings inside and it felt good to get them out. As she began to come back to herself she registered his whispers to her. She couldn't believe all of them, she had learned a long time ago that words meant nothing without actions to follow. She just hoped that his actions would follow the beautiful words that he whispered in her ears._

The night that followed their argument was the best one any of them had in three years. Once they composed themselves. They had a long talk about the future. They sat down and put all the cards down on the table.

She told him that she needed him to be a present participant in the family and she wanted him to help with Joey and all of her exercises and be more attentive at her sessions. He wanted her to give him just an hour a day to be alone and work out his problems, he also asked that she attend his therapy sessions. He promised to try his best to not show his dark side around the children as much as possible, and she promised to help him through everything. It was good for them to have expectations of one another.

In the coming months they had these little chats frequently. Whether it was in the presence of Rick's therapist or in the quiet of their bedroom they found times to talk it out with one another. It didn't stop them from having disagreements and it certainly didn't solve all of their problems. He still had nightmares and terrible flashbacks and she was still trying to piece things back together.

They spent most of their time in the Hamptons. They really had no ties to New York anymore. When their friends would find themselves with a weekend off they would come up to the house to hang out and see the family. Martha was there most every Friday through Monday, and spent her weeks at her acting school and with various friends. Alexis came up as often as she could and while it was much less than everyone would have liked, they never went more than a week without seeing her.

Kate had not been back to work since Rick's return and Joey began a two day preschool schedule in the Hamptons. It was a big decision to move her, but ultimately it was a good one. Even though the first few weeks were hard she actually resisted her class less. Seeing as how the Hamptons was a mostly vacation spot there were only about 4-5 children in the class. The teacher was young and understanding and gave all of the children lots of attention. The smaller class size allowed Joey to feel more comfortable with herself and they were all happy to see her settle in somewhere new.

They visited the city at least once a month. They chose times when Alexis just couldn't get away from her classes and work so that they wouldn't have to go so long without seeing her. They would eat at Remy's and go see a movie. They would explore the museums and visit the zoo when the weather allowed. They tried to live their lives with as low stress as possible.

Rick had never been happier to have the means to support his family for the rest of their lives. He missed writing and often stayed up half the night willing the words to come as he stared at a blank screen. Nothing came even as his fingers burned and ached to type out his feelings. It was really the one part of his life that was not back to almost normal. They all told him that it would come and he needed to stop forcing it, but he was afraid that it never would.

He tried not to dwell on his short comings too hard. They still haunted him in his weakest moments. He would be drawn back into the depths of his mind and be reminded of all of the terrible things they had been through. He was getting better at seeking out help, though.

Whenever he had a particularly bad flash he would find Kate. All she had to do was look into his eyes and she knew exactly what he was thinking. She would finish whatever she was doing, take his hand, and lead him up to their room or out to the beach or into the office. At first he felt bad about dumping all of this on her. She had enough to deal with and he really hated to add to her load. But she made a good point. She just kept telling him that it would be a lighter burden if it was on both of their shoulders. She was right.

Every time he poured out all of his thoughts and troubles to her she just sat there and took it. She held him when it all became too much and he just had to cry. She gladly talked him down from whatever ledge he had crawled up onto. It was a whole new dynamic to their partnership, but he was surprised to find that it was just as good.

Their lives had changed in so many ways, yet not really at all. They were both still hurting from their three years apart. They still weren't married though they acted like it most of the time. There was no longer a brick wall between them, though there was still space between them. Instead of a wide canyon it was more like a small ravine. Though hopefully with what he had planned for the weekend he was hoping that all of that would change.

**The next chapter will be focused on Joey and Alexis over the last year!**

**Thank you all for your continued support! All reviews welcome!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Alexis_

_She could take care of herself. She had learned that skill a long time ago, however, that didn't make seeing her Father turn away from them any easier. Every day was a struggle. He was never with them and when any of them came into the room he would immediately run for cover. It wasn't fair. They were made to live three years without him and now, with the way he was acting, it was as if they had never really gotten him back at all._

_Joey didn't understand. She was much too young to comprehend exactly what was going on and she was still trying to figure out what this man meant to her. But Alexis' heart broke every time he chose to turn away. _

_It was hard on her, but she also saw how hard it was on Kate. She thought that she was hiding it from them, but Alexis saw right through the mask. She watched as her Father went to his office every night instead of to the master bedroom where his fiancé went. She knew that this was killing her and that sooner or later Kate was going to issue an ultimatum. She was fiercely protective of Joey, and of Alexis, and she wasn't sure how much longer she would keep this up. So she wasn't surprised when Kate followed her Father up the stairs that night. _

_She could hear the argument all the way in the living room and she felt her sister tense against her side. She tried to ignore it. She snuggled Joey closer and turned up the volume on the television, practically blaring Cinderella throughout the house. It seemed to work for the little girl as she was soon swept up into the story again, but it wasn't that easy for Alexis. _

_Her mind raced and she was dying to know what was going on upstairs. She prayed that her father would see reason and that he wouldn't make Kate take drastic action. She simply couldn't handle the thought of having to split her time between her father and the woman who had come to be her rock. There was no way that would work for her. _

_Those thoughts were selfish she knew but it didn't stop them from coming. _

_There were no words for her to describe the feeling she had two hours later, long after the credits had rolled and the movie had been changed to The Lion King, when her parents came down the stairs together and smiling. They made their way over to the couch hand in hand and sat down. Kate took Joey onto her lap and leaned her head down to rest on his shoulder. Her father had reached out and tugged her into his side. She let herself rest against him and closed her eyes in relief. _

_"Daddy?" She questioned, her voice sounding small and foreign to her own ears._

_"I'm here, Pumpkin, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm not okay, yet, but I will be. No more worrying okay. I will always be here for you!" _

She could still hear those words from all those months ago and that night replayed as clearly as if it had been yesterday as she made the trek from the city to the Hampton's house. She didn't mind the drive, actually enjoyed it. It gave her time to think and regroup.

When she was in the city she was all work. She didn't allow herself any time to relax or have fun. She went to class, went to her internship, did her homework, and studied for hours on end. She lived for the weekend. She spent every second of her weekends with her family. She played dolls and cars with her little sister, she went on walks down the beach and played games with her dad, and she cooked and talked endlessly with Kate about everything going on in her life. She attended Joey's therapy sessions and watched as the little girl improved week after week.

All the time she spent with her family made the long hours and sleepless nights worth it. Everyone at school called her crazy for doing all of the extra work it took for her to have every weekend off, but she knew better. She had it made. Her family was the best part of her life and she would do any amount of work it took to see them more often.

Every Friday night they ate dinner late, just so that she would be able to attend. Every week she pulled up in the driveway and Joey came racing out to meet her. She would jump up into Alexis' arms and hug her impossibly tight. As they walked inside, her Father was always waiting to take her bag and give her the biggest bear hug he could muster. And if that wasn't enough to make her feel loved completely, Kate coming out of the kitchen, apron on and spoon in hand, to drop a kiss on her head and hug her neck definitely would have done it. There was nothing better than that.

This time though she was even more excited than usual to arrive. It wasn't a Friday, in fact it was a Tuesday. She was cutting class and making the drive only for a few short hours in the Hamptons, though she was sure her family would convince her to stay once she arrived, but there was no way she was missing this. As soon as she picked up the phone a few hours earlier she knew that today marked a huge day in their family and there was no way she was going to miss out on that.

Kate

The changes she had seen in her daughter in the last year were amazing. The little girl had become a completely different child. After their last big fight Castle had become a constant presence in her life. It had taken the better part of the last year, but the pair had become closer and closer with every passing day. It had all started when Alexis had left for school the morning after the change.

_They had stayed up half the night before, no one wanted to be the one to get up from their little pile. They were all just happy to be together. Eventually, though, it was mutually decided that they all needed to sleep more comfortably than in a pile on the couch. _

_Alexis took a sleeping Joey out of Kate's lap and up to bed. They slept snuggled together in Alexis' room a sight that was now Castle's screensaver on every electronic device he owned, which is surprisingly a lot. _

_Kate had fallen asleep hours before and Castle could not bear to wake her. She had been running herself ragged these last few weeks, so once his daughters disappeared up the stairs he slipped his arms under her knees and around her back. HE lifted her easily and she unconsciously snuggled into his warmth. _

_He walked slower than was necessary just to soak up these moments. He had missed this, all of this. She had been right here all this time and he had been wasting it. Now, there was nothing he wanted more than to stay snuggled up with her forever. _

_When he reached their room he slipped her under the covers and undressed to just his boxers and t-shirt to join her. He wrapped himself around her and kissed her hair. It didn't take long for him to follow her into a deep and uninterrupted sleep. _

_The morning came much too quickly for all of them. Alexis was the first up as she had a long drive ahead of her before her afternoon class. She took a shower and dressed quickly, leaving her little sister to sleep cuddled up in a pile of blankets and her little elephant. Before she left, she slipped into the master bedroom and found her parents still very much asleep. _

_She decided it wasn't worth it and scribbled out a note and a promise to call once she arrived back on the city. She left it on her Father's nightstand and slipped back out. _

_The next time someone stirred it was little Joey. She was upset to find her sister had left her and she didn't want to be by herself anymore. She jumped down off of her sister's huge bed and went in search of her Mommy. _

_She went down the hall and into the guest room. The door was already open so all she had to do was slip through. To her dismay the bed was still made and there was no sign of her Mother. She knew she wasn't allowed down the stairs and her Mommy normally woke her up before she went downstairs so that she could help with breakfast. Where else could she be? _

_She was running out of options when she came back out into the hall. But there was one room that she had not checked. She had never been in this room. Her mother always preferred to stay in the room she already checked, but there had been so many changes lately she didn't know what to think. _

_This door was closed, so she reached up and turned the handle. She wasn't sure what lay on the other side of this door. Her Mommy was always saying that you never knew what was on the other side of the door. _

_She walked into the biggest bedroom she had ever seen. There was a huge fireplace with a giant anchor inside. There was no fire in it and she was curious to see it when it was. She spent a few minutes in awe before she remembered her mission. She stepped farther inside the room and peeked over the side of the bed. _

_She saw the signature brunette curls of her Mommy and breathed a sigh of relief. She practically ran the last few steps up to the bed and decided how to proceed. She definitely needed some help to get up onto the bed. _

_Kate was fast asleep when she felt her covers being moved. She assumed it was Castle trying to be a cover hog again and so she lashed out and threw her elbow back into his chest. She was honestly not upset about the covers and could care less as long as Castle kept himself wrapped around her. She had the best night's sleep that she had in three years and she wasn't ready to let it go just yet. _

_Castle was wide awake after the elbow in the chest. He simply tightened his hold on Kate and used one of his hands to make sure she was fully snuggled down into the covers. She showed her appreciation by turning in his arms and snuggling against his chest. _

_That's when he saw her over Kate's head. Her piercing blue eyes were just peeking over the edge of the bed. When she caught his eyes her eyes widened and he could tell that she was confused about why he was in bed with her Mommy. _

_While they slept in the same bed at the loft it was only a few days and they were both up and about before Joey was awakened for breakfast. In the past few weeks they had been sleeping in separate rooms due to his seclusion and her stubborn streak. He hated to think of it now as there was no where he would rather be than in bed with Kate. _

_"Hey, sweetie." Castle kept his voice low and calm. His goal for the coming days was to make his little girl comfortable around him. He wanted to play with her, read to her, teach her how to drive Kate crazy, and cuddle up with her in front of a Disney movie with her on his lap. There were so many plans he had for her, and them as a family, but first he would need to earn her trust. _

_She had been doing well while they were in the hospital and he would never forget when she had looked into his eyes and he saw the awe and love she had for him. Since then it had disappeared as she had crawled into her shell. At first it was about her getting a little more comfortable with him, but now he knew that these last few weeks had forced her to erect her walls once again. Luckily, he had a pretty good record with the Beckett girl's walls. _

_"What are you up to this morning?" He didn't expect a response, but he knew it was better to ask questions and let her make decisions and answer in her head. It got her used to thinking in sentences so that when she was ready to speak she could and allowed her a little bit more time to think and decide. _

_He waited a moment for her answer. He had two options here. He could help her into the bed and allow her to cuddle up to her Mother for a while whilst he made breakfast or he could make this interesting. Of course, he decided to make it interesting. _

_He reached over and flipped a switch to turn on the electric blanket that he kept under the bed. He pulled it out and slipped out from under Kate. He replaced himself with the blanket wrapped around her and then got out of bed to turn on the fireplace. Also taking a moment to slip on some shorts while he was tending to Kate. _

_Johanna watched with fascination as her Father took care of her Mommy. Normally it was her Mother tucking her in and making sure she was comfortable. It was weird to see someone taking care of the person who had always taken care of her. Her Father looked at her Mom with a look of complete adoration and he seemed to be treating her like a princess. _

_Castle dropped a kiss to Kate's hair and then walked around to where Joey stood. She took a step back as he lowered himself to his knees so that he could look her in the eyes. _

_"Hey, Joey, I was just going to go downstairs and make your Mommy her most favorite breakfast. But, you know, I really need some help and I have heard that you are a wonderful Sous chef! Alexis used to have so much fun cracking the eggs and decorating the pancakes. We will make it like a surprise for Mommy. It can be a present for her. Do you think you could help me?" The little girl looked skeptical and to be honest, a little scared. He realized this was a big step for her and that it was a long shot. He didn't rush her and he was proud of his ability to hold back his convincing speech. He knew that too many words and loud voices would only scare her away._

_Joey didn't really want to leave her Mother. But she was a little hungry and she wanted to surprise her Mommy. And she really wanted to decorate pancakes, she had only ever decorated cookies and cakes. And she wanted to be the one to crack the eggs. Alexis had taught her how and it was her favorite job to have in the kitchen. She was the only one her Mommy trusted to do it! _

_She looked up at her Father and gave a little nod of agreement. Her Mommy was right upstairs if she needed her and her Dad had already made sure that she would be safe and warm. _

_Castle could not be happier right now if he tried. His daughter had just agreed to make breakfast with him. He was sure that his smile would crack his face in half. _

_"Well then, Let's go!" He laughed and rose up to his full height and marched out of the room like a soldier. He got all the way to the top of the stairs before he looked back and saw Joey standing in the doorway. She was looking at him as if he had three heads. He stopped for a few moments and held his breath. He was kicking himself for going overboard, but then he was surprised again when Joey cracked a smile, picked up her knees, and marched herself all the way down the hall. Laughing as she went. _

When Kate had woken up that morning she had been warm and happy. It took her a minute to realize that her warmth had nothing to do with her writer. Well that was not entirely true, it had most certainly been him that had wrapped her up tight.

She panicked when she couldn't find Johanna. She checked the little girl's room, Alexis' room, the guest room, and Martha's room (just for good measure) and she was nowhere to be found. She had no idea where she could have gone and just as she was about to panic a little bit she heard a crash from the kitchen and a little squeal from Joey.

She raced down the stairs to make sure she hadn't hurt herself, but she stopped in her tracks halfway down when she heard Rick's voice.

"Do you think that's enough whipped cream?" He said with the laugh clear in his voice. "No you're right, you're right! I love it! She will too. We are almost ready to bring it up to her. Just one more minute on the bacon, okay!"

She was dumbfounded. She couldn't believe that in a few short hours Castle had made a complete 180 and so had Joey, apparently. She was torn between going to join her family and going back upstairs so that they could surprise her. In the end she had decided to sneak a peek and then race back up to her bed.

The picture was one that had long since been framed and added to her collection of favorites. They were both thoroughly covered in flour with big smiles on their faces. Joey was holding a can of whipped cream and a giant pile of pancakes swimming in the white confection was sitting right in front of her. Castle was holding a spatula and smiling at Joey like she was his whole world.

She watched long enough to see him take her hand to help her jump off the couch. It wasn't a hug or a cuddle and it was far from affectionate, but it was a start.

That morning marked the beginning of a great friendship. Over the following weeks they only became closer. Everyone could see the adoration in both of their eyes for the other. Castle lived for Joey's smile and she hung on his every word.

Every morning since then, Joey creped into their room were Castle was more often than not waiting for her. Sometimes they would all cuddle up together. Which in the beginning was mainly Joey on Kate's lap while she cuddled up to Castle, but it evolved slowly into the little girl cuddling up in between her parents. Other mornings Kate would come downstairs to find them making breakfast and laughing together. It was the best time of her life.

They put her to bed together, they all played together, and Castle helped with her therapy exercises. When Alexis had come back the next weekend she was shocked and as happy as Kate had ever seen her. For Alexis that was the dream. After seeing her Father and sister together she knew that he was making an effort and he would not turn away from them again.

Today topped that morning, times ten! She didn't think she could get happier, but on this seemingly normal Tuesday morning she was proved wrong and she couldn't be happier about it.

**Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for reading! I am thankful for each and every one of you who have read and supported this story! **

**All reviews welcome! **


	3. Chapter 3

It was a pretty normal day in the Castle/Beckett household. Just their average Tuesday. Kate woke up to a familiar rustle of the sheets and dip in the bed, followed by the loss of warmth beside her. Though it was only a few moments before she felt herself being wrapped in the electric blanket. Every time he left her in bed he would wrap the heating blanket around her shoulders and press a kiss to her hair.

Today was a breakfast morning apparently. It was about once every few weeks that Joey and Rick would go down to the kitchen in "secret" and bring her breakfast in bed. Castle called them "Mommy appreciation Breakfast's". She loved them! They reminded her of lazy mornings when her own mother had a day off or was home sick and Kate would help her dad make breakfast to take to her in bed. Much like nowadays, they always ended with all three of them cuddled up in bed sharing the breakfast they made.

On these mornings she allowed herself to drift back to sleep in the warm blanket. It always took them longer than was necessary to make breakfast. Mainly because of all of the playing around and decorating that happened in the kitchen, but she didn't mind. IT just gave her time to think and be alone before the craziness of the day began.

Today, though, she could not fall asleep. Her mind was whirling with all of the changes she had seen in her daughter. It wasn't just that she had just left the room cuddled up in her Daddy's arms. It was the thousands of other little changes she had seen.

These days Joey was happier. She looked forward to preschool days. She still came running out of the room to greet her parents, but she did look back to wave goodbye to her teachers. She liked to pick out her own outfits and she was proud to say that they matched, most of the time. She was more assertive, still silent, but assertive. She would point to the things that she wanted to eat or to wear or play with. One of the biggest developments was her use of signs.

Rick had taken it upon himself to learn everything there was about sign language. He had taken to signing everything he knew, which was surprisingly a lot. He had made some comment about book research and having too much time on his hands, but she saw him on YouTube and reading the book that had mysteriously appeared on his bedside table.

Of course Kate had been learning signs since they realized Joey had speech problems. They had been working on it in therapy and in everyday life, but Castle took it one step farther. He made it a game for her to learn. He would tickle her until she signed "all done". He wouldn't fill her cup until she signed thirsty and all number of other things that had Joey giggling and fumbling her little fingers to mimic Castle's bigger ones.

They had found remarkable success. Right now Joey knew about ten to fifteen signs, on a good day. She was still so young and she couldn't remember everything she needed to say. They stuck with basic everyday things. One of the cutest things Kate had ever seen was Joey intently focused on her hands trying to figure out exactly how a sign was supposed to look. She would always look up at them and they would quickly for the sign she needed and help her make it too.

Every day she saw something new in her daughter that was unexpected and amazing. Take that day a few months ago for example…

_Laughs and shrieks could be heard from the pool could be heard from her perch in the office/library. Of course it helped that the exterior and interior doors were open. _

_Unless it was raining the back doors stayed open in the summer. It was refreshing to have fresh air throughout the house and also made it easier to come and go freely. _

_Joey had taken to the beach like a fish to water, literally. She had learned to swim in a matter of days and it almost took a crane to pull her out of the water, though a cherry Popsicle worked as well. _

_Everyday Joey and Castle went out in search of adventure. They were pirates and spies and mermaids, a different something every day. They splashed in the pool and ran down the beach, they collected shells and made sand castles, and they jumped waves and drew the biggest pictures they could manage. She joined in for some of these activities and other times she simply sat back and enjoyed watching them have fun. _

_Today she had let them go on a dive for lost treasure in the pool, while she went inside to work on a case the boys had sent over. She was not one to be out of work and she hated to be bored. It wasn't like she was really working or anything. She would review camera footage and go through old case files to find missing clues. They just gave her something to look into and something to work towards. She actually proved to be helpful on most cases and the boys were appreciative of the help. _

_Of course, they had been assigned a new detective and a few new uniforms to cover the absence of their leader and Esposito had claimed the team leader spot. However, it wasn't just flattery when Castle called her the best. She never believed it, but the boys missed her insights and direction when a case got tough. _

_She had been looking at surveillance video for the last two hours trying to get a good angle on a license plate and nothing had come of it. She had checked everything at least twice and been through three cups of coffee. So when the laughter and happy shrieks of her little girl carried into the office she decided it was time to call it quits. _

_She texted Ryan and told him that she was no match of his video expertise and shut her laptop down. She got up from the office chair and retreated upstairs to put on some more suitable beachwear._

_She had yet to go back to wearing bikinis and it was rare to even see her in a bathing suit at all. Her body was much different now. Actually that was a lie. Her body was pretty much the same size it had always been. She had no trouble losing her baby weight. She loved working out and running often so it was not even a chore. It actually added a challenge to run while pushing a stroller and her never did back away from a challenge. _

_Firstly, she was a mother now and wasn't exactly sure that wearing her older, more revealing swim wear was the best option. They weren't that revealing, she just wasn't sure they were the best to wear around a toddler. Secondly, she hated the way her scars and imperfections looked. She had made peace a long time ago, but there were others who had not. _

_Three years ago it had just been Rick around when it counted. She had never minded him seeing her scars after he took so much care to acknowledge and worship them that first night. He had made her feel good about them and she never had anything to hide around him. When the rest of the family did join them in the Hamptons she was always wearing a cover-up or a more modest option. She had a few one piece suits that used cut outs and V-necks to make her feel sexy without being too risqué. _

_Joey had never seen her scars. There was still a pretty big line down her side and the one on her chest was still pretty noticeable. She didn't want to scare her and really didn't want to have to tell her that story until she was much, much older. _

_So for now she stuck to wearing sundresses and the occasional one piece. _

_Today she was feeling a bathing suit. She could hear how much fun they were having and it sounded like just what she needed. She quickly changed into her red V-necked suit and grabbed a towel and some sunscreen before slipping out the back door. _

_As the pool came into view she was met with the familiar sights of her fiancé and daughter playing together. It wasn't a new sight anymore, but that didn't stop the breath from catching in her throat. _

_Joey was standing on the edge of the pool. She was clad in her little mermaid bathing suit, a purple top with ruffles and sparkles with green scaly bottoms. It was truly the cutest bathing suit she had ever seen. Rick had found it online and just had to get it for Johanna. The little girl had been thrilled about it and wore it almost every day in the summer. _

_They had to buy Joey all new beach wear once it had begun to get hot. Joey had only been to the Hamptons house a few times as a baby. Kate had gone back a few times to relax and to try and make good memories there to negate the negative ones. It had worked for a while, but then when Joey had stopped progressing and had needed attention there was never really a good time to go. Their lives were pretty hectic as it was. _

_Standing in the water a few steps away from the edge was Rick. He was wearing one of his many bathing suits and sporting a nice little tan mixed with a slight pinkness. He refused to keep applying sunscreen claiming that it simply took too long and cut into his play time. Which was ridiculous because Kate made sure to slather Joey up every half hour or so, meaning that cut into his play time already. _

_It appeared that Rick was trying to get Joey to jump off the side and into his arms. By the puppy dog look on his face and Joey's stance, arms crossed and feet glued firmly to the ground with a slightly tilted hip, she could tell how it was going. _

_"__Come on, princess! It'll be great. You know I'm right here to catch you and I promise I won't let you go under." Princess was the nickname that Rick had chosen for Johanna. Apparently every Castle child needed to have one and Joey was no exception. He was Darling to Martha and Alexis was Pumpkin to him, so he took it upon himself to find one for Joey. They had gone through what seemed like hundreds, but was probably only ten to fifteen. They had ranged anywhere from Sweetie Pie to Short Stuff. However, when he used Princess the little girl's face had lit up as if to say: 'Really? I'm your princess?', and it was settled._

_Seeing as how Joey had inherited her stubborn from her mother, Kate knew that this was most likely going nowhere and so she decided to diffuse the tension by calling a sunscreen break. _

_As she approached, Rick noticed her right away, but she quickly signaled for him to keep quiet and much to his credit he obeyed. He just continued the staring contest with his daughter. Kate used that time to swiftly and silently drop her things in her chair and came up behind Joey. She swooped down and grabbed her around the waist and scooped her up against her chest. _

_"__Gotcha!" She exclaimed in mock triumph. Joey squealed like she was Rick after finding a dead body in a fridge and was genuinely frightened before she realized that it was only her mother. "Have you had fun today, baby?" _

_Joey nodded her head enthusiastically and squirmed to be put down. _

_"__Oh no you don't. Time for some more sunscreen before you fry like bacon!" Joey only understood the sunscreen part and pulled a face before struggling anew, but Rick laughed as he lifted himself out of the pool and snagged a towel from a chair. _

_"__Keep it up and I definitely won't be joining you in the pool once your sunscreen has dried." The word of warning had immediate effect and Joey stilled in her arms. She set her down so that she was standing in a chair and reached for the spray on sunscreen. _

_As she applied the spray Joey kept her eyes scrunched closed and held her arms out to the sides. She had barely started when Castle came up behind her and circled his arms around her waist, effectively pulling her back into his chest. _

_"__Hello, beautiful!" He whispered in her ear, quietly enough so that it was a whisper that sent chills down her spine. "Did you have time to take a nap after your surveillance watching?" _

_It had been a rough and unusual night for the both of them. After they put Joey to bed, Rick had come to her with a flashback of the violent variety. She had calmed him down and they talked it out together. They held each other and talked about good memories and she had shared stories about a baby Joey. _

_She had found that talking about their adorable daughters helped calm his nerves and shut out the fresh bad memories with new and exciting ones. It was a subject that they never tired of and it helped calm both of them down. It was after midnight when they had finally stumbled up to bed and fallen asleep. That should have been the end of it and it normally was, but last night it was not. _

_Rick had been woken by sobs and struggles only two hours later. It had been Kate caught up in a nightmare of her own. It broke his heart to see her this way and so he had gently shook her awake. She was sweaty and tense and it was one of the worst nightmares he had seen from her since her undercover mission gone wrong all those years ago. The look in her eyes when they finally opened was enough to have him pulling her into his lap and cradling her against his shoulder. She had silently cried through her explanation. _

_She had been dreamed that she was there when he was being tortured and was made to watch the whole thing. She had tried to go to him and save him, but they wouldn't let her. All she could do was just sit there and watch. After what seemed like forever they said that the only way for it to stop was to choose between her baby and Castle. That was when she woke up and he thanked God that he had stopped that line of thinking before she went there. _

_He simply held her to him and let her work through it. He told her how much he loved her and that he was fine. He was okay and nothing was going to hurt them again. The people responsible were in jail awaiting trial and they were never to come out again. It was basically a repeat of all the things she had said to calm him down earlier in the night. _

_He knew that she struggled with the fact that she had put his case away in order to focus on Joey when he was out there the whole time. He had told her again and again that it was what he wanted. He was glad that she had stopped and that he had not become another rabbit hole for her. That was the last thing that he wanted. _

_Logically, she knew that she had done the right thing, but it didn't make it easier to accept. He was just glad that he was here now to comfort her. _

_She had fallen into a fitful sleep, still cradled on his lap and he had kept watch until he was dragged under again too. It had left him with an extremely sore neck and not nearly enough sleep the next morning, but he didn't mind. As long as he got to be the one to comfort her and hold her he would take a sore neck any day. _

_"__No, no time for a nap this time. Too much video that turned out to be a bust anyway. Not a good angle in any of the fifteen cameras they pulled." _

_"__Kate…" She knew the drill. He hated to think that he had caused her pain and he was way too protective of her when she had the occasional nightmare or couldn't sleep. _

_"__Nope, Castle. I am fine and I am here with two of my most favorite people in the world and I am ready to play. So no arguments okay?" She picked Joey up and set her down on a towel on the cement to dry while Kate applied her own sunscreen. _

_She turned around in his arms and pressed a kiss to his jaw. "If it makes you feel any better I will go to bed early tonight and you can let me sleep in tomorrow, alright?" _

_"__That's all I ask." He kissed her head and then released her as they went about applying sunscreen to themselves and did each other's backs while Joey distracted herself splashing her feet in the water. _

_They sat for a few minutes, Kate sprawled out on the lounge chair with her eyes closed and Rick sitting beside her, keeping a very close eye on Joey as she sat on the edge of the pool. _

_After a few minutes Rick patted her on the hand and she looked up to see him looking at Joey. She was standing before them both of her hands out, palms up, with her thumb and pinky sticking out to the sides. It was a sign they had just learned that meant now. She was asking if it was time to swim yet. _

_Rick and Kate looked at each other with huge smiles and came to a silent agreement. _

_"__What do you say, Kate, is it time to get back in the pool yet?" _

_"__Excellent question, Rick." She pretended to think hard for a moment. "I do believe it is!" _

_They both shot up out of their chairs and made a run for the pool, scooping Joey up in their arms on the way. They went right over the edge and into the pool without second thought. Although they were smart enough to make sure to hold the little girl high enough so that her head never went under. _

_Their combined weight sent water everywhere. It went over the sides and spread along the cement as well as making huge waves within the pool. They all laughed and joked as they got their breaths back. Rick threw Joey into the air and let her slip in the water for a slit second before throwing her up again. _

_After about five times, Kate stopped him with a hand on his forearm. "Wow, slow down with the throwing. I don't want her to get sick and throw up or pass out or anything." Even though the little girl was still laughing and clapping her hands she still didn't want Rick going overboard. _

_He saw her point and settled the girl in his arms and turned her around towards Kate. He saw it first, but wasn't able to communicate to her fast enough. All of the waves and splashing had slightly shifted her bathing suit to the left and down a bit so that her scar was clearly on display. It wasn't showing too much of anything else, just the round raised up skin with a cross through it. _

_Joey's eyes were immediately drawn to it as she went to splash the water and make more waves. Her little smile dropped and she stared down at it. As soon as she realized, Kate adjusted the line of the V-neck and prayed she would drop it. _

_But Joey was a Castle after all and was much too curious for her own good. She just turned her focus to her mother and her little eyes asking all of the questions that she didn't have words for. Kate looked at Castle for help. Castle just looked back at her with complete trust. He knew that whatever she wanted or didn't want to share would be good enough for now. _

_Kate took a deep breath and plucked Johanna out of her Father's arms. She walked over to the edge of the pool and sat her down on the edge so that they were more level with each other. Castle came up beside them and stood a few paces away. He wanted to give them their space and let them work it out, but he also wanted to be there if they needed him. _

_Kate pulled the red fabric to the side only slightly so that her scar could be seen. The one on her side was much less prominent now. It would always be a different color than the rest of her skin, but it didn't draw much focus unless you knew it was there. The one from the actual bullet was different. It had a texture. It was rough and slightly raised from the rest of her skin. It had lines through it and really it was a bit scary if you didn't know what it was. _

_She knew that her overly curious daughter would want to know exactly what it was and where it came from. She wasn't surprised and she had known that it was coming. She had actually thought a great deal about what she was going to say. Though the pool was not really the setting she had in mind. _

_She let the little girl stare at it until it became a little awkward. I mean it was on her chest and that was a bit much to take. She took the little girls hand and Joey looked up to meet her eyes. _

_"__Remember when Mommy told you about Grandma Johanna? How she was hurt by some bad people and went up to heaven a long time ago?" She waited until Joey nodded her head and made the corresponding sign. A fist moving up and down to match her head. "Well when I met your Daddy we didn't know who the bad men were. Everyone else thought that it was just an accident, but we knew better. _

_"__We worked hard to find out who did it so that they could go to jail and be punished for what they did. It took a very, very long time. While we were looking for evidence and clues we made the bad people angry. They didn't want to go to jail. So they tried to hurt me instead." She took a deep breath to help her get through what she had to say next. It wasn't easy to say, but every time she had thought about what she might say she decided it was best to tell Joey exactly what happened instead of trying to avoid what really happened. She hoped that Rick would feel the same. _

_"__They tried to shoot me with a gun." She paused again to make sure it wasn't too much for the little girl to handle. Her eyes widened slightly, but she didn't seem to be too affected. "But luckily your daddy was there. He tried to push me out of the way and he saved my life. It still hurt and it took a very long time to heal." _

_"__Now that you know, though, I don't want you to be afraid of guns. They are very dangerous, but only if they are in the hands of bad people. Do you understand?" Another nod. "I don't want you to be sad, okay. I'm perfectly fine now and nothing like that will happen again. I just help your uncles now, right? No more chasing the bad guys for a while." _

_Joey took a minute to process the information she had received. She didn't want to think about her Mommy being sick or hurt. And she definitely didn't want it to happen ever again. But she always felt safe with her Mommy, and with her Daddy now. This was the second time her Mommy had mentioned that her Daddy had saved her life. She was even happier that he was back now if that meant that Mommy would stay safe. She was satisfied that he was enough. She thought back to all the mornings she watched as he wrapped her up in a blanket and kissed her on the head. They were his princesses, her and her mother, he would never let anything happen to them. _

_Kate watched her daughter try to make sense of everything she had just learned. She glanced between her parents and seemed to come to a sort of peace. This was one of the many times Kate wished that she would speak to tell them exactly what she was thinking. _

_Joey reached her little hand out as if to touch it. Kate took her in her arms to let her see it more closely. Her little fingers brushed over her skin. Joey brought her hand up and kissed her fingers before putting them back over the raised skin. She looked back up at Kate with a smile on her face. _

_They spent the rest of the afternoon becoming prunes in the pool. About an hour after they had their scar discussion Johanna signed that she wanted to get out. It was a simple sign they had taught her very early in the summer so that they would know when she was done swimming or wave jumping. She put one hand into the other and pulled it out again. _

_Kate took her up the stairs and stood her on the edge. She turned around to grab a towel when she heard a splash. She panicked and spun around only to see Joey in Castle's arms. She was smiling and clapping her hands. She made the out sign again and Rick laughed._

_"__She jumped, Kate!" He looked so triumphant. "She jumped to me all by herself. I'm so proud of you, princess! You really are as brave as your Mommy!" _

_It didn't take a brain surgeon to see the parallel. She trusted him, fully. There was no question now that she trusted him to catch her whenever she fell. She knew that he would be there for her and it felt good. A weight was lifted from Rick and Kate. They really were equal partners now. She could go to either of them for help and it felt good to truly share that responsibility. _

_For another half hour Kate sat on the edge of the pool. Joey would jump off the edge and into Rick's arms. She would add a little twist or turn or simply pretend to fly through the air for a few minutes. They would swim around and play for a few moments before Joey was ready to go again. She would sign and Kate would lift her out again and it would start all over._

That day had been another large step forward in their lives. It was the last major improvement they had seen though it was a helpful one. Now Joey could not only play with and make breakfast with Rick but she went to him too. When she needed a snack or couldn't reach something or had any sort of problem she could go to Castle as well as Kate. Kate was no longer her primary caregiver and that was fine with her. They were equal partners.

She heard footsteps coming down the hall and decided to at least feign sleep. She snuggled down into the warm blanket and relaxed her body. She was facing away from the door so that she wouldn't be tempted to peek.

The door opened on a creek and she could hear their footsteps begin to tiptoe through the room. The tray was set down on the nightstand and Joey was lifter up into Castle's arms.

"One, two, three." A whispered countdown that reminded her of the counts she used to use to signal the boys before a take down. She knew all too well that this was all too similar.

Joey was all of a sudden thrown on to the bed and she jumped up and down a few times before landing right next to Kate. She clapped her hands loudly and tapped her Mommy on the shoulder.

Kate opened her eyes slowly and gave her daughter a smile. Castle sat on her other side and rubbed her back in a more soothing approach. She rolled onto her back and stretched like a cat before she sat up against the headboard.

Castle handed her the coffee first and she shot him a grateful glance as she took a long pull. There was nothing better than Castle's coffee. She pulled Johanna closer and Castle set the tray down over her lap.

There were pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, and fruit just like always. It wasn't a preschool day so they didn't really have a deadline. Kate did need to make a trip into town to do some grocery shopping and also make a stop at the drug store. She figured they would go out to lunch and then run their errands.

They enjoyed their breakfast and worked on the signs for all of the food. It would take a few weeks for her to remember them all but there was no reason they shouldn't start now.

Eventually they set the tray aside and finished off their coffees, before all settling back into bed. It was getting colder and colder by the day, which made it harder and harder to get up. A glance to the clock told them it was only eight o'clock do there was no reason to rush out into the cold.

Kate had been up late the night before piecing together evidence for a case. She normally wouldn't get so caught up in a case that she lost sleep over it. That hadn't happened since before Joey was born, but this one was different. A young mother had been murdered in her bed leaving two little girls behind with her husband. One look at the case file and she was all in. She had not completely jumped down the rabbit hole, but she was more dedicated to this case than she had been in a while.

Around 3AM she had finally put the evidence together in a way that made sense and passed along her insight to Esposito's email. It still needed to be sured up and the apartment of her boss needed to be searched but it made Kate feel better to have at least contributed. The boys had three open cases right now so they needed all hands on deck. She was sure that another case file would be waiting her when she got home.

So she didn't feel bad about snuggling back up with her family. She pulled Joey into her side and under the covers with her. Rick followed and enveloped both of his girls together.

"I love you, Kate." Castle dropped a kiss on her head and then reached over her to their daughter. "I love you too, Princess."

It was only a few minutes later that she heard it. It was slurred and broken. So quiet that she thought she was dreaming, but one look up to her fiancés face told her she had not been dreaming. She looked down at her daughter just as she said it again, a little bit louder and surer of herself this time.

"I …love… you."

**To be continued...**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing! **

**I did not start out this chapter intending for it to go this way! What can I say the characters have a mind of their own. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! **


	4. Chapter 4

Both jaws dropped open on the recognition of what had just happened. Both parents could only stare in amazement at their daughter. One shared look to each other and back down at Joey told them that they weren't dreaming.

Kate could barely breathe. It was the most beautiful sound Kate had ever heard. It played over and over as she looked at her little girl. Her heart burst with love and pride for her baby girl. They had been preparing for the worst. Learning signs and how to live with silence. It was an enormous weight on her shoulders and it had been weighing for years. She was afraid this moment would never come and now it was here.

Rick wasn't fairing much better. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish trying to form a response. Ironically, there were no words for this situation. It was amazing and beautiful and he didn't think he could be any prouder.

He looked at two of his favorite girls. Kate was still a mess, understandably, and Joey was deflating fast. Understanding dawned on him as he scooped them both up against his sides. Kate laid her head on Rick's chest and gave herself a moment to compose herself, all the while keeping her eyes on Joey.

At first, Joey had smiled up at her parents. The biggest and sweetest of smiles to accompany her words. But when she saw her mother crying and her father struggling too, she had begun to deflate in confusion.

She had felt completely at home and safe when she spoke. Snuggled up between her parents, safe and warm she had been invincible. She wasn't afraid to open up and share a piece of her little heart. She wasn't so sure now. She actually didn't know what she had expected, but she didn't mean to make her Mommy cry. Now, she wanted to crawl back into her safe little shell.

"I'm so proud of you, princess!" Her daddy's voice cut through her silent war with herself. She was squished into his side and she felt her Mommy's hand on her back. The covers were pulled over all three of them and she was safe again. She snuggled down into Daddy and chanced a glance at her Mother. The tears had disappeared off of her face and were replaced with a loving smile.

"We love you too, baby!" Her mother whispered to her as they shared their live pillow. Joey fell asleep in her own little cocoon of safety.

Rick and Kate lay there too worked up to sleep. They were silent for a while, both lost in their own thoughts and dreams for the future. Joey lay there with them completely oblivious and comfortably asleep.

All of a sudden Rick felt Kate shaking against him. He turned from his daughter to see her face had crumbled as she buried herself into him. He slowly extracted himself from Joey and tucked her in warm and tight into his pillow.

He got off the bed and sat down on the rug just beneath it, right in front of the fire. He reached up at a slightly confused Beckett before pulling her down into him. He meant to pull her down beside him to lean on his shoulder, but she had other plans. She came willingly and landed across his lap. He immediately wrapped his arms around her, fully encompassing her into his arms, and let her have her moment.

This was the first time she had sought him out for this kind of comfort since he came home. Whenever she had a tough day or a case got to her or she found herself missing her mom she would come find him. Whether he was playing a videogame, writing in his office, or sitting right beside her (outside the precinct of course) she would always come straight to him. The only warning he needed was one look to her face and then she was on him. Wrapping herself around him and letting herself fall apart. He was the only one she trusted enough to be like this. Completely open and a bit needy.

He was honored to be the one she chose to come to for comfort. Of course, she had come assistance in her comfort seeking this time, but it still felt good. He knew her well enough to know that she would eventually talk it out. She needed a minute to grieve, to gather herself and work out her emotions, before she was ready to share.

"She's gonna be okay, Castle." She forced out after her sobs had quieted to the occasional hiccup. He looked down at her in question.

"Yes, well we knew that, Kate. She's always been okay, great even. You said it yourself she's perfect."

"No. I mean really okay. She's going to talk and have friends and play sports and have dance recitals." She took a deep breath and he let her work it out for herself before he added. "For three years I have been telling myself that she was going to get better. Don't get me wrong, she is perfect and I love her more than life itself. I would have been completely okay if…if…"

"If this morning hadn't happened?" He provided. She nodded looking down a bit. "Kate, no one is questioning how much you love her. Your feelings are warranted. I felt it too, maybe not for three years, but I felt that constant worry. I understand. I love her too, with or without her voice."

"I know. I just… I read pamphlet, after pamphlet about kids who couldn't talk. They couldn't read or write well for the rest of their lives. They were behind in school and with their social lives. Something about sentence structure not processing the right way. It was all too much. But she was improving and she was learning the signs you, we, taught her and I had you to worry with me. I knew we would make it.

"And then this morning… and it was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. She's okay. There isn't anything wrong. She'll need a lot of help to get her back up to speed within the next few years, and she's only said three words, but god, Castle. She's gonna be okay." She fell back into him and completely relaxed, having spilled everything going on in her mind.

"She's going to be great! We're going to be great!" He leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her head. A gesture she pretended to huff at, but secretly loved.

Neither of them knew how long they sat there in front of the fire. Neither cared. They were happy, blissful even. Eventually though the bubble was burst when they heard Joey stirring on the bed.

A glance at the clock told Rick that it was just past 9:30AM. He wanted nothing more than to sit here with her in his arms all day long, but he knew that wouldn't happen. As soon as she heard Joey waking she would be up and getting ready for the day. So for now he just soaked in the feeling.

"I think I hear her waking up." Always the detective, it didn't take her very long to notice the faint signs. "We should get up." He felt her muscles tense in preparation to stand up.

"Wait!" He tightened his arms around her to keep her with him for a moment longer. "Why don't we just have a lazy day today? We can cancel my appointment and put off the errands for another day, change into a fresh pair of PJ's and build a fort in the living room."

It wasn't often that Kate allowed days like this. In fact, there had only been one other time. A few weeks after their move to the Hamptons, only a couple days after the first official "Mommy appreciation breakfast", and both Kate and Joey had gotten sick…

_She woke up with a pounding headache. She had felt the tinge of sickness the day before, but she had chosen to ignore it and go to bed early to stop it from blowing up any further. Clearly, that plan had failed. _

_She groaned as her muscles protested her cat-like stretching. She turned over and curled up into a ball against her writer and decided that a few more hours of sleep were in order. _

_It wasn't thirty seconds later that the door creaked open. Kate cracked an eye open to see Joey, well more accurately Joey's eyes peeking up above the side of the bed, silent tears running down her face. Kate held back another grown as she recognized the look in her daughter's eyes. _

_"__Oh, baby." Kate croaked out despite her protesting throat. She tried to sit up and swing her legs over to comfort Jo, but her entire body protested. Her loud groan was enough to wake Rick from his log-like state of sleep. _

_"__Whass goin on?" He slurred still as good as dead to the world. _

_"__Castle." Kate choked again before she broke out into a fit of coughs that raked her body. The sound was enough to have Rick up and at attention. _

_He rubbed his hand soothingly up and down her back as she gathered herself, all the while Castle was mentally cataloging soup ingredients and ways to make her feel better. That's when his eyes landed on Joey. She looked like a ghost, pale and clammy. _

_He was up in seconds, careful not to jostle Kate as he moved. He picked Joey up and cradled her briefly before depositing her on the bed with Kate. Joey was still tentative around him and didn't seek out or tolerate too much touching from her Father, so he moved fast enough for her to only register his warmth and then Kate. _

_She didn't seem to mind as she immediately settled down into Kate's lap. _

_"__We should get her some breakfast and then maybe you can go get her some medicine and I'll make her some soup for lunch. Hopefully it's just a twenty four hour thing and she'll shake it off before school tomorrow…" That was all she could manage before dissolving into another violent fit of coughs. Joey seemed less than thrilled with all the racket and shaking. Castle sat down beside her on the edge of the bed and pulled her to him. _

_"__Wow, wow, wow, Kate. What are you talking about? Look at you. You can barely talk without coughing up a lung." His attempt at humor was ill received. _

_"__I'm not sick, Castle. Just let me hop in the shower and I'll be fine." She attempted to wringle out of his grasp, but he had other ideas. _

_"__Kate this is crazy. I know you better than I know myself. You feel awful. You're pail and faint, your coughing up a storm, and you feel like a human furnace .There is no way that I'm going to let you get out of bed, much less run around trying to be supermom." He suddenly turned very serious with his next sentence. _

_"__This is what I am here for, Kate. This is what I live for. I love you. I want to take care of you, both of you. You're clearly feeling awful and I'm not going to let you suffer in silence. I hate to see you in pain. Please just let me take care of you. _

_"__You don't have to do this alone anymore. You don't have to completely disregard your own feelings for her. I am perfectly capable of taking care of her, and you." _

_He could see the fight leaving her body. _

_'__She must be worse off than I thought if she is giving in this easily.' He thought to himself. _

_He watched with a small smile as she lay down and pulled Joey to her chest. The little girl was breathing heavily through her mouth due to her congestion and he could tell she was uncomfortable, even in her mother's arms, the one place she always felt safe. _

_He hated to see them like this. Two of the most important women in his life in pain and clearly suffering, even if it was only for, at the most, a couple of days. He vowed to make them the most comfortable little nest on the couch downstairs and the best pot of soup either of them had ever tasted. There was no way he was letting either of them lift a finger, until they were both one hundred percent_.

They had spent the whole day all wrapped up on the couch watching Disney Movies, reading stories, and napping to pass the time. Castle played the part of a perfect nurse. Keeping them fed and entertained, dosing theme each with the appropriate medicines to help them through the day, and allowing them all the rest they needed.

It was the first sick day Kate had allowed herself in over three years and it felt good. She was able to just be for a day. No appointments, errands, or chores to complete. She just curled up with her little girl and allowed herself to be taken care of. She was feeling much better by the early afternoon, but she didn't let it show.

She could tell that Castle was having the time of his life taking care of her and their daughter. His face lit up when he brought them his "Famous Feel Better Soup", a new book, or even just a glass of water. He loved to feel useful and loved it even more when he could help them feel better. She didn't mind.

It was one of the first things that attracted Kate to him in the first place. How fiercely he cared for and protected those he loved. And really she was really getting the better end of the deal. She got to spend time with her two favorite people in the whole world, without a care in the world.

Whenever Joey got sick it was extremely stressful. She obviously couldn't tell Kate what hurt or what was wrong. Kate had to go with her gut and study the little girl to make decisions. Was it just a cold that needed fluids and a lazy day to rest or was it something worse? Just the thought made Kate cringe. Add all of the things Kate had to get done on a normal day plus a sick child was almost too much to handle without the added stress of her silent.

That day, though, Kate had only Joey to focus on. She didn't have anything to do, but hold, watch, and read her daughter. It was a freeing feeling. Every time Joey smiled at the movie or at the smiley face cookie Rick made her as a reward for finishing her soup it lightened her heart and made her forget about how crummy she felt.

What started as a terrible looking day turned out to be a great memory for them all.

Kate thought for a moment about the day ahead and all the excitement of the morning. She had a list of things to do and she was sure the boys would appreciate help on their case. But, honestly she couldn't bring herself to care.

The thought of a pillow fort/ pajama party sounded like the perfect way to spend the day. She knew Joey would love to watch her favorite princesses and cuddle up between her parents, maybe bake some cookies after lunch, and play board games under the protection of the fort.

"Yeah, Castle. I think a lazy day is just what we need." She kissed him soundly as she moved off of his lap to fully awaken their little girl and get started on their lazy day.

**Sorry for the long wait and the short chapter. I've already started the next chapter and I have planned the next few. A lot more family fluff, twists, and turns for our favorite little family! I cant wait to share it with you. **

**As always thank you all so much for your continuous love and support! I would love to hear what you have to say! **


	5. Chapter 5

An hour later they were all set up. After showers had been taken, teeth brushed, and dishes done they had all cuddled up on the couch to the first movie. Kate sat in the vee of Castle's legs with Josie on her lap. They all wore Pajamas, not the ones they had worn to bed, Kate had drawn the line there. Castle tried to argue that it counted as getting dressed for the day, but his girls had given him a double Beckett stare that shut him up rather quickly.

It was not shocking to either parent when Joey picked Frozen as their first watch of the day. She was completely obsessed with the movie and would watch it over and over if allowed, which she never was.

As soon as they had bought the movie, Joey asked for it daily. Kate had a hard and fast rule that it was only to be watched every other day at the very most. Normally they would play it in the background of some other activity or as Kate made dinner. Kate could remember one night when she called Joey to the table and looked over to see her little girl watching the menu screen just as intently as she had the movie. That's when Kate had decided to broaden their horizons and start watching and doing other things. It was still undeniably her favorite, they just spread out her viewings a bit.

Joey was, as she was every time, completely captivated by the movie. She never even looked away. She smiled the entire time. Laughing before the punch lines of jokes were told and burying her face in Kate's chest when Hans came on to the screen. Kate had always loved to see her daughter so happy and carefree.

It appeared that her fiancé was just as delighted with the movie as her daughter. It would seem she had two children. His laughter jolted her as it rang out around the room, she didn't mind. It was soothing to her to be surrounded by her family.

When the movie was over it was time for lunch and Kate knew Alexis would be here any minute. They knew that Alexis would kill them both if she were to miss out on this day and that she would probably be upset that she wasn't there when it happened.

Alexis was the best sister there had ever been. She was the perfect playmate and friend. The age difference made no difference. They were as close as two sisters could be and Kate knew it was killing Alexis that she had to be so far away from them, but there really wasn't another option and it was only for another couple of months most likely.

They waited until Joey was playing with her dolls, having already dressed in her favorite PJ's, and just waiting on her parents to finish getting ready to make the call. It was the last thing they did after showering and changing, wanting to break the news together.

_"__Hello!" Alexis' cheerful voice called over the line. She was just getting out of her 9:00AM class when her phone lit up with a picture of Joey that indicated Kate's phone. _

_"__Hey, Lex! How was class?" It wasn't unusual for her parents to call her during the day. Sometimes Joey needed to hear her voice or see her via skype; other times Kate or her Dad just wanted to talk or needed a little cheerful conversation. _

_"__Oh, you know same old, same old. Week before finals is always rough. I'm on my way to the library to start studying now. What's up in your world?" They always joked that they lived in totally different worlds. Today being the perfect example. _

_"__Well we're about to make your day soooooo much better!" Rick interjected like a giddy little boy from his position on the bed beside her. _

_"__Oh…..hey Dad. Is Joey there too?" _

_"__Nope just us, honey." Kate trying to keep Castle from jumping out of his skin with excitement. She was more than a little excited and Castle was not helping one bit with all his fidgeting. _

_"__Guys, what's going on? You're both acting strange…" _

_Kate looked to Castle, the silent question in her eyes. He nodded his head to her and took her hand. He knew that this was her news to tell. She was the one who had spent the last three years and Alexis had been a big part of that. He wanted to let them have this moment, but he wouldn't miss it for the world. _

_"__Everything and everyone is fine, Alexis, but there is something we need to tell you." With one more encouraging squeeze of the hand from Rick, Kate made up her mind. Short quick and to the point. "This morning Joey told us that she loved us." _

_There was a pregnant pause and the line went silent. No one even breathed. A loud exhale was heard from Alexis'._

_"__What?...I mean….what?" Another deep breath as if she could not seem to catch any air to hold in her lungs. "Told you… as in signed….or….I mean….It can't be?..right?" Seeing that this line of thought was going nowhere and that Kate already had tears in her eyes Rick stepped in to help explain. _

_"__We were all curled up in bed after one of our famous breakfasts in bed…" Alexis had been present for a few of these breakfasts. Those were everybody's favorites. When they all four squeezed onto the bed and shared the breakfast that Rick and Joey had made. They would all laugh and chat and catch up with each other. In no hurry for it to end and to start their days. _

_"__Everything was pretty normal. We had a pretty late night last night so we decided to go back to sleep for an hour or two before starting our errands and chores for the day. I told Kate that I loved her and then I told Joey, too. A few seconds later she opened her little mouth and parroted it back." _

_Another pause as they let the news sink in. After a few moments Kate got worried. _

_"__Alexis?" _

_"__Oh, yeah I'm here… I just… I can't believe it. And I wasn't there…" They could both here the tears and the disbelief in her voice at first that quickly turned to a tinge of sadness. _

_"__Alexis…" Before Rick could even get the words out of his mouth Alexis was off again. This time in a whole different direction. _

_"__No! This is great. I mean more than great, this is the BEST news! I cannot wait to get home." She went on for a minute or so in her excitement. Castle reached out an arm and pulled Kate even deeper into his side, placing a kiss in her hair. They both smiled as they listened to Alexis' tangent. Neither was paying too much attention to the words, as they got lost in their own little moment, until they heard her say: "If I leave now I can be there by lunch, or a little after. I don't need to go to my 2 o'clock. I mean as long as that's okay with you guys. I don't want to intrude or…" _

_"__We would love for you to be here! As long as you're sure you don't need that class. You are a part of this family, Alexis." _

_"__Okay. Okay, I will be there as soon as I can!" _

_"__Love you!" They both say at almost the same time. Smiling to see that they've still got that freaky, cute brain meld going on. _

_"__I love you guys, too! I'm already on my way." The girl sounded so young and carefree in that moment, such a luxury after all she had been through. _

_"__Don't speed!" Kate yelled just as the phone clicked off. Ever the overprotective mother, she sighed as she stood and pulled Rick up with her. _

_"__Alright, time for some high quality laziness! Let's find that brilliant daughter of ours." _

_He took her hand and led her out the door of their bedroom. _

_"__I'll give you three guesses which movie she picks first!" _

"What do you think, princess, should we have grilled cheese for lunch? We could make some tomato soup to go with it. Or we could have macaroni and cheese? What sounds good?" Rick scooped their daughter up and carried her to the kitchen.

Kate followed them both in and sat on a stool at the bar, as he sat Joey on the counter. She hadn't said anything else since her little confession in the bedroom. Neither of them cared or wanted to push her. They both knew it wasn't going to be an overnight change. It would take a million little baby steps to get her where she needed to be. Today was just the first one.

Rick got out a box of macaroni and cheese and a can of the soup. He put one in each hand and held it up to the small girl. It was an exercise they employed often. You give her two options and let her decide by pointing or gesturing and eventually with their voice. It allows them to form opinions and be able to be a part of the decision making process. Gives them a reason to communicate.

It took a minute of study for Joey to reach out and touch the macaroni box smiling brightly up at her Dad.

"Excellent choice! Macaroni it is."

They laughed and played around in the kitchen while they prepared lunch. Joey got the honor of Sous chef and dutifully stirred the noodles every few minutes, under the very close eye of her father of course. Kate cut up some of the fruit they had gotten at a farmers market the day before to add at least some healthy element to their lunch. They all completed their tasks in tandem moving around one another completely in sync.

Rick had just set Joey down to strain the noodles when they heard the front door open.

"I wonder who that could be?" Castle wondered very dramatically. Kate shook her head and abandoned plating the fruit to catch a nervous Joey as she came running up.

Kate picked her up and settled her on her hip. Joey buried her face in Kate's neck as the footsteps got louder.

"I think you may have a visitor, baby." Kate said as she smoothed the girl's hair down. Alexis came to stand in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

"Johanna Alexandria Castle! Is that you hiding from me?" As soon as she heard her sister's voice she practically jumped out of Kate's arms in an effort to get to her. Kate set her down and she ran to Alexis.

By the time the little girl reached her, Alexis squatted down and opened her arms in anticipation. Joey didn't slow down until she slammed into Alexis' chest. She stood up and spun Joey around. The little girl squealed in excitement.

"I missed you, Josie. I know it was only a couple of days, but I just couldn't resist. Mommy called me and said it was a special day and I got here as fast as I could!"

Castle came up behind Kate and wrapped his arms around her stomach. She leaned back into him and he pressed a kiss to her hair as they watched their children together.

Alexis had stopped talking and Joey begun dramatically pointing to her nightgown and then to Alexis.

"Oh I do need some PJ's don't I. Can't have a movie day without maintaining some sort of dress code can you?" Joey shook her head violently. "Of course not. Come on let's hurry and you can help me pick out a good pair before lunch."

With that the girls scurried up the stairs. Laughter and shrieking filled the house as Kate and Rick soaked up the feeling of a full house.

**Just a little transition chapter. A lot more will be developing and happening in the next few chapters! **

**As always thank you for reading and I would love to hear from you! (Reviews always welcome!) **


	6. Chapter 6

After Alexis had dawned her pink polka dotted pajamas they had all sat down to lunch. It was a rowdy and happy affair. They all piled on the sofa and the blanket pallet they had made on the floor to eat. No television was needed. They entertained each other with funny faces and conversation.

Kate and Castle took dish duty and gave the girls some time to play. It didn't take long for them to break out Candyland and fall into their own fun little world.

The adults took their time as they worked side by side. By the time they were finished, the girls were still happily playing, Alexis obviously letting her little sister take the lead in the points as well as in the mood of the room.

"She's good with her. I mean really good Joey is always so happy and carefree when they are together." Rick commented as they stood in the doorway to the living room watching the two girls play. "She always wanted a sister, but I never knew how close they would be. Especially with the age difference between them."

"You can't be that surprised, Castle, I mean Alexis is great with kids, you saw her with Benny. And I mean Johanna was the light in both of our lives. It was the first really good thing that happened after…you know.

"Joey brought us together as a family. Without her, our lives would be completely different. I don't even think we would have ever spoken to each other again" Castle knew about the immediate aftermath of the crash. He knew about all of her mistakes and the rabbit hole that she had fallen down. They had that conversation pretty early on and he had assured her that he understood and that he was just glad that his family found their way back to each other.

What Kate hadn't told him yet was what happened a few months after Joey was born that had solidified their little family.

_Kate felt horrible. She had basically take over the loft, well her and Johanna. She had no idea how hard this would be, and she had expected hard. She wasn't naïve and she had heard too many horror stories from new parents that she thought she had a pretty good idea of what was to come. She had no idea. _

_She was drowning. Johanna was perfect and she loved the little girl with her whole heart, but it didn't make it any easier. The little girl cried for her and only her. She would not calm for anyone else. Kate was up almost every hour during the night. Most of the time Johanna wasn't even hungry or wet, she just wanted the warmth and comfort of her mother. Which was sweet in theory until a few days without sleep became a few months. _

_Even worse than that was the heart-broken Alexis. She hid it well, but Kate knew it was hard on the girl every time Johanna screamed even louder when she was picked up by her sister. Luckily, it was getting better. _

_Johanna would play with her on the play mat and Alexis could occasionally get a small smile out of her if she worked hard for it. It made Kate's heart soar every time something new happened and Johanna got a little bit closer to her sister. Alexis would look over at Kate with the widest of smiles and excitement all over her face. It happened more and more often these days. _

_Alexis had just finished her classes and was at home more and more. Even with all the roughness Alexis adored her baby sister and every victory made her more and more determined. _

_One night when Johanna was about four months old Alexis crept into the room during one of her sister's famous midnight screaming parties. Kate had gotten it down to a science and it only lasted a handful of seconds before the little screams were just uncontrollable crying. A quieter and more controllable form of unhappiness. It still tore at Kate's heart, but at least it spared the rest of the house from being woken along with them. _

_Kate didn't even realize she was being watched until Johanna had completely quieted and she could only hear her own voice, no longer covered partially by the girl. _

_"__There we are, baby. You're alright. Mommy's got you. I'm here. You were doing so well in your bassinet all warm and cozy. I thought you were gonna let Momma sleep for a while longer. Ah, well, we'll try again tomorrow." _

_A floorboard creaked and Kate's head whipped around to find Alexis standing awkwardly by the door._

_"__Oh, I am so sorry, Alexis. I hope she didn't wake you. I'm going to keep her here with me for most of the night and she won't make much noise as soon as she realizes I'm here or she gets her bottle." _

_"__No, no. She didn't wake me up. I hadn't gone to bed yet." There was an awkward pause. Johanna gurgled where she rested on Kate's chest. She turned her head towards the voice of her sister and buried her head in her mother's shoulder, still turned toward Alexis, her clear blue eyes searching for the source. _

_Alexis looked like she was going to move forward, but then she thought better of it and stood where she was. _

_"__You can come over here, Alexis. I'm not going to bite, no promises about the baby though." They both laughed and the tension drained out of the room almost instantly. _

_Alexis needed no more prompting. She bounded over to the bed and hopped up with Kate. Pulling the covers over herself as she settled. _

_They had become pretty close during the pregnancy, especially after Kate had been hospitalized. It was harder lately to find time to be together. Alexis had been in school and came home much after dinner and left in the morning for class. They chatted over breakfast, on the days Alexis didn't have to rush, and hung out on the weekends but their time was very limited. _

_Her semester had ended only a week ago and now they found themselves trying to fit each other into their new lives. _

_Johanna whimpered at the jostle and Alexis gave Kate an apologetic look. Kate just shook her head, she didn't want Alexis to have to walk on egg shells around them. _

_Johanna looked up at Alexis for a second with bright eyes before she turned her head down and snuggled up to Kate. _

_"__Hey, Kate?" _

_"__Yeah?" _

_"__Does it worry you that Johanna never looks straight at people? I mean she looks at you and she snuggles into you, but she has never done that with anyone else. She won't even look at Grams and freaks out every time anyone holds her. She's gotten better with me, but I can only hold her for a few minutes before she has a meltdown and she has never looked me in the eye for longer than a few seconds." She went quiet and looked down at her hands. Kate put her hand on Alexis' knee in support. _

_"__I'm just… I'm just worried about her, you know? I want her to be happy and healthy. I want to be able to be her sister in every sense of the word." _

_"__Oh, Alexis. You never have to worry about that. You are a fabulous sister. She has chosen to open up to you. She gets better every day because of you. You are the one here working with her. Letting her get comfortable with her and taking her lead. _

_"__And, yes, I am worried about her. I've already talked to the pediatrician about it and she said that all we can do right now is to love her and keep her close. Not let her feel alone or abandoned. Hopefully she's just shy and will grow out of it eventually. But we'll be here for her no matter what. _

_"__What she needs right now is you and me." _

_"__I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that you hadn't thought about it or that you were ignoring the issue." _

_"__No, sweetie. I didn't think you did." Kate switched the baby to her other side and pulled Alexis into her side. Something they had often done in the hospital when they were watching movies or just talking to each other. It always seemed to relax Alexis and Kate didn't mind it at all. "I worry about her more than you know. I worry that I won't be enough for her. That she needs her father. I worry about what will happen when I go back to work, or even if I will. I worry about you. I worry that you aren't getting out with your friends enough and that I have taken over your life. I worry about almost everything these days."_

_She hadn't meant to say that much. She hadn't really meant to spill all of that on Alexis' shoulders, but it all seemed to come so easily. Alexis was the only real human contact she had other that her father and Martha's visits. _

_"__You're not alone. Never alone. I'm here for you, both of you. You haven't taken over my life Kate. I love having you here. I was so mad at you for leaving after dad… So angry that you could care about me so little that you could walk away and hide yourself in his case. We were just about to become a family and we had worked so hard to be where we were." She took a deep breath and all the pint up anger left her. _

_"__But you came back and regardless of the reason for that I am so thankful that you did. You guys make my life better even with all the crying." A watery smile. "You don't have to worry about me. I love living here with you." _

_"__I love you, Alexis. I am so sorry for all that I put you through, more recently as well as in the past." _

_They had talked for hours that night about everything and nothing at all. They shared memories of Rick and about their childhoods. They talked about the future and all they hoped for Johanna as well as each other. They fell asleep with the baby between them in the very early morning. _

_When Kate woke up she immediately freaked out at the absence of Johanna and Alexis. Alexis she wasn't too worried about, but it was much too quiet for the baby not to be beside her. One glance to the clock had her up and panicked in a second. It had been four hours since she had last been awakened! That was unheard of. _

_She walked in the living room to find Alexis reading on of her Dad's books. That was normal. What took Kate's breath away was the tiny baby in her arms. Kate thought she was asleep at first but upon further review the little girl was awake and completely calm with her sister. Kate could see Alexis' lips moving as she read the story of Johanna's parents to her softly._

_Kate couldn't help but smile at her little family all cuddled up together. _

It was only a few more months before Joey was reaching out for Alexis when she cried in her presence. The girls quickly became what they are today. Attached at the hip and completely taken with each other.

Kate thanked her lucky stars every day for Alexis. She wasn't sure that she would have made it through all that Johanna threw at her if it wasn't for Alexis.

PBPBPBPBPPBPBPBPBBPPBPBPBPPBPBPBPPBPBPBPBPBPBPPBPBPPBPBPBPPBBPPB

All too soon their day together was over and Alexis had no choice but to drive back to the city. They had all tried to convince her to stay the night, but she had insisted that she needed to get back to the city to be ready for her early classes the next day.

Joey was taking it the hardest as Alexis held her by the door. The little girl had her head buried in Alexis' neck and made no move to let go after several attempts.

"Sure you don't want to stay the night, Alexis?" Rick commented as he rejoined the group at the door after putting her bags in the car. Alexis shot him a classic Beckett glare that silenced him instantly.

"Alright, baby. It's time to let Alexis go. She has to get back to school. She'll be back in no time, I promise." Joey just shook her head and buried herself deeper into her sister.

"Come on, Josie. The sooner you let go the sooner I can come back." Joey lifted her head, but made no move to get down. Kate came up and took Joey from her sister. She was all warn out from their day and she practically melted into Kate's arms.

"I'll miss you, Josie. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" Alexis bent down to kiss the crown of her head.

"miss..you...lexi." Joey said as she closed her eyes and rested her head on Kate's shoulder.

There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

**Thank you for reading! I would love to hear what you think! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Well I survived exams...YAY! Sorry I fell off the face of the planet there for a while. I hope you enjoy this fluffy little chapter as I work on the next one!**

After baths had been had and stories read, after Kate had fallen asleep in the middle of the nightly news and he had carried her upstairs and into bed, after he had wrapped himself around her and settled in for the night an all too familiar feeling came over Rick. His mind was racing and his fingers itched, he could hear the call of his laptop from all the way downstairs in his office. He knew that there was no way he would be getting any rest until all the words had been expelled from his head.

Kate didn't even stir when he slipped his arms from around her and rearranged the blankets around her. She looked so young and peaceful in her sleep. There was no trace of worry or darkness on her face. Of course, nowadays it was not out of the ordinary to find her completely open and free when playing with their daughter or when she was humming to herself as she cooked in the kitchen. He didn't think he would ever be used to seeing her like that. It still caught him of guard and took his breath away every time.

His uptight by-the-book Detective Beckett was gone, she had been replaced by Kate. His Kate that he had fought so hard for, the Kate that he had longed to see, the Kate that he had uncovered inch by inch, brick by brick. He still saw glimpses of the detective in her and he would be lying if he were to say that he wouldn't miss their precinct days. Running around catching killers and playing cop. They were some of the best days of his life, but they were nothing compared to his days now.

Playing tea party and dolls with his daughter. Seeing Alexis pull up in the driveway, watching Joey run out to meet her with Kate not far behind. Watching Kate as a mother, probably the best he had ever seen. Reading Joey her bedtime story every night and slipping from her room after she had inevitably fallen asleep in the middle. Curling up with Kate in front of whatever Dramedy or Action movie they felt like watching. Falling asleep with her in his arms every night. It was everything he wanted and more than he could have ever dreamed of.

As he left his room and walked down the stairs he thought of all the things he was missing in those two years, things he didn't even know about but missed all the same. He thought about how he almost threw it all away again after he had returned. He shivered at the state he let himself slip into and at the thought of leaving Kate to deal with all of it alone. Never again.

He slipped into his office chair and powered up his computer. He let everything clear from his mind as he slipped into the world of his second favorite detective and her partner. His fingers flew over the keys as the world he created came to life.

KATE

She woke up in the middle of the night surrounded by the familiar feeling of comfort and warmth of their bed, but as she became more aware she realized something was missing. She was warm, all wrapped up in the blankets and sinking into the sinfully soft sheets, but her writer was definitely missing.

As much as she hated to admit it, they were cuddler's. They were always joined in some way. Sometimes it was just a hand on her hip or her freezing cold foot against his calf. More times than not though she was curled at his side with her head on his chest or he would wrap himself around her and spoon her from behind. It was a bit pathetic, but she loved it.

In any case she knew he was not with her before she even opened her eyes. She sat up and stretched her limbs, sighing at the delicious pop of her shoulder from its position scrunched up under her.

A few years ago she would have thought nothing of it, he was often struck with inspiration in the middle of the night and would get up to write. He would always return a few hours later and press a kiss to her hair completely drained and satisfied with his work for the night. It was a totally different ballgame now.

He often woke up plagued by nightmares and flashbacks, or was overcome with insomnia on a regular basis. Most nights she would wake with him. They would sit together and talk about their missing years or about the years before, lately they had been speaking more and more about the future though. Sometimes he just wanted to hold her and be silent. She didn't mind. He had done all of these things for her countless times before.

He was always ashamed of his reactions. He was getting better about being helped, but he hated to think that he caused her to miss sleep and he always tried to hide it from her before he allowed himself to be comforted.

The thought of him sitting alone somewhere in the house had her throwing the covers off and grabbing his shirt off the floor to wrap around herself.

It had been a good day, a great day, and had hoped that with everything getting brighter and brighter in their family he would begin to come out of the darkness that had taken his subconscious. Apparently she was wrong.

She checked the kitchen and the living room to no avail. She opened the door to the porch and called out to him, but was only met with the soft sounds of waves crashing on the sound and wind moving through the trees. She made a mental note to bring him out here when she found him. The noises and cool breeze that whipped would have a soothing effect on her writer.

She came back inside and made a beeline for the only other place he could be. The office had, recently, become a sore subject. Kate loved nothing more than to curl up on the comfy couch and pull a book down from the wall in the office. It was small and secluded and cozy. She used to join him occasionally on his midnight writing sprees in the Hamptons. Though she normally only made it a chapter or two before she allowed the rhythmic sounds of the computer keys lull her to sleep.

These days it mostly stayed unused. He hadn't written in over three years at this point and it made him upset to say the least. He had sat down a million and one times with the intention of writing and nothing ever came. He was entirely too hard on himself. He had been through a lot and honestly she wasn't surprised. It was a miracle that writer's block was the only permanent damage done.

She was, of course, just as devastated as he was, she just managed to hide it better. She would love him no matter what. Even if he never wrote another word she would be just fine. Well not fine, but okay. She craved his words just as much as any other part of him. They soothed her. Made her feel safe and at home, no matter where she was or what she was doing.

On some level Rick knew that too. He no longer wrote for the money or even for himself. He wrote for her, to her.

She hoped that she wouldn't find him sitting alone staring at his blank computer screen as she had countless times before. She took a deep breath when she arrived in front of the door and steeled herself for what was coming. She quietly opened the door so he wouldn't be spooked. The sight that greeted her was nothing like what she expected.

There he sat, her writer, writing! His fingers were flying across the keys and his expression was one of pure concentration, with a hint of a smirk in there for good measure. He was writing furiously, a man on a mission. Tears came to her eyes as she leaned on the door frame and simply watched him work.

She stood there watching him for much longer than was necessary. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. She was so happy for him, more than that, elated. Just like their daughter he was healing. They were going to come out of this stronger, she knew it. This was simply a reminder of that.

Her legs threatened to give out from under her as she stood and she leaned more and more heavily against the doorframe. She debated going back up to bed, but the thought of walking all the way back up to an empty, and by now, cold bed did not sound appealing. So she settled for the couch.

She curled up with a blanket and watched him write until her eyes slipped closed for the second time that night.

RICK

He looked up. His eyes were strained and his neck had been craned for far too long. He popped his knuckles and rolled his neck. He saved his document with a smile and stood. That's when he saw her, curled up in an impossibly small ball adorably wrapped in the blanket she had stolen off the back of the couch.

He couldn't help but smile at her. She really was perfect. He was still amazed that after all this time she was still here. She had given him a family and a home, she was his home after all. She had been a mother and a friend to his daughter when he couldn't be there for her. She was the most amazing mother to their little girl and she had done everything in her power for their family. She had comforted him and shown him the light countless times in the last year and she took care of all of them time and time again.

He could not believe that she was his. He was the one that got to crawl into bed with her each night. He got to be the father of her child. He was the one she came to when she was sad or upset. She sought comfort in his arms. He went to the grocery store, cooked dinner, folded clothes, and cleaned the house with her.

He had everything he had ever wanted in his mother, daughters and Kate. Well almost everything. Now what he wanted more than anything was to make Kate his wife.

It had been a year since his return, three years since he had left her at the altar. They acted as if they were married. All of their finances were together, due to his "death", they were raising Joey together, and sending Alexis to college together. If they stayed this way forever he would be happy, but he wanted her to have it all. The white dress, the preacher, friends and family, vows, white cake, everything.

She still wore his ring, the one he had given her all those years ago, but they had never really broached the wedding subject. It had been mentioned in passing, but whenever they spoke about the future it was always about Alexis graduating med school, Joey starting kindergarten, even the possibility of more children had been discussed as of late.

He could tell that it still hurt her, thinking about the wedding, but he hoped that what he had in store for her in the next few days would change all that.

He thought about the small box he had hidden in Alexis' closet and all he had let to do before he put his plan into action as he bent down to her and picked her up. He wrapped his hands around her back and under her knees to hoist her up, blanket and all. His knees protested, but he ignored it. This was much more important. She was drawn to him immediately and wrapped an arm around his neck and snuggled into his chest.

'Yeah she was his, and he would always be hers.' He thought as he climbed the stairs with her in his arms for the second time that night.

**I am already working on the next chapter so you can expect it sometime tomorrow! **

**I would love to hear from you! Reviews always welcome! **


	8. Chapter 8

Thursday. He decided that he needed to man up and do it on Thursday. He was nervous, scared even. He had no idea how she would react and the answer she gave determined their entire future. He went through worst case scenarios all week. He knew most of them were irrational but it didn't stop his mind from wondering. She was one of the most important people in his life and he didn't want to scare her away. So, yes, he was nervous.

It was scary, the rest of his life depended on one answer, to one question, from a four year old girl. The same four year old girl who was currently off in her own little fairytale world as she played on the playground.

Kate had been working on a case file in the last couple of days so he offered to pick Joey up from preschool and keep her busy for a few hours while she worked. He knew that a part of her missed her job at the precinct. She loved being a mother and she always put that first, but some days she just needed an escape. As crazy as it sounded, investigating was her outlet. So he left her at home with the promise of a few quiet hours to work.

The preschool wasn't too far from a little Italian restaurant and the school let out at 12:00, so his plan was to grab some lunch and go to the park. Maybe even get some ice cream before returning to the house for her afternoon nap.

He was just in time to see the children come pouring out of the school. They let the kids play on the playground as parents came one by one to claim them. Rick stood back from the initial rush of parents trying to sign their children out and simply watched his daughter.

Joey was the last one to exit the building. She was not running, or even in a hurry, like most of the other kids. She didn't drop her book bag in a pile and go straight for the swings or the slide. She slowly walked out the door and down the stairs. She kept her Frozen book bag on her shoulders and made her way over to the grass on the edge of the playground.

Other kids were being called over by the teachers and their parents. Some ran to meet them at the fence and others screamed "five more minutes" before going back to playing with their friends. Joey took no notice.

She carefully pulled her book bag off her shoulders and laid it carefully on the dry grass. She took great pride in her toys and things. She was gentle and neat with everything she had.

She then proceeded to immerse herself in her own little world. She skipped around on the little patch of grass and chased a butterfly. He could practically see the little wheels turning in her head. She was making up a story, he had seen her do it before. She had an extremely vivid imagination and she used it often.

They would sometimes miss her for a few minutes only to find her in a closet playing with a broom. She would run through a room in the house with her arms out like an airplane only to sneak through on her tiptoes the next minute.

He always wanted to know what she was doing. Where she was in her little mind. It was something he had shared with Alexis. They had played pretend her entire childhood. It started out with him making up the stories, which led to her making decisions with the "problems they faces, which led to her making them up completely. He still did that with Joey, but she was always her most carefree and content when she was by herself.

He had asked her therapist about it months ago. Why she liked spending time alone? Why she was so engrossed in her own mind that she often didn't hear them calling her from only a few feet away? She had told him that Johanna was just introverted, to an extreme degree. She didn't like to share her feelings and kept her little heart and beautiful mind to herself. She didn't know exactly why, but a lot of it had to do with comfort. She was 100% comfortable in her own little universe. In the real world, not so much.

It made sense. He could see how such a tiny little girl could feel that way. He felt that way, to a degree, sometimes too. He could also see a lot of that in Kate. She was guarded. Especially when they first met, but even to some degree today. She didn't share and she hated to talk about her feelings. Not so much with him anymore, but she didn't even show her true feelings to her father.

He didn't mind it. Johanna was her own little person and he loved every inch of her. She had her own little walls, luckily, Rick had a lot of experience with Beckett women and their walls.

Most of the parents had already signed their children out. Some had taken their leaves while others stood around to talk some more while their children continued playing. Rick made his way up to the check-out table all the while keeping his eye on Joey.

"Hello, Mr. Castle." Ms. Lindsey greeted as he walked up. "Nice to see you today. Can I interest you in babbling blonde pigtails or a daredevil little boy?"

Rick laughed at the good natured pre-school teacher. She was always cheerful and jovial no matter how loud or rowdily the children came out of the building. She as the teacher of the three and four year old class. She was extremely good at her job and was great with Joey.

"No, I think I'll just take the usual. Beautiful brunette curls, please."

Ms. Lindsey smiled and tapped the sheet, which Rick in turn signed his and Johanna's name. The teacher leaned down to the radio, connected to the speakers around the playground, and called out to Joey. The little girl didn't hear she just continued playing in the grass. Ms. Lindsey called a second time with no response.

"Do you want me to go and get her for you?"

"No, that's alright. Do you mind if I..?" Ms. Lindsey gave a nod and waved Castle through the gate.

He made his way around the edge of the fence to the grass area against the building. Joey was sitting on the grass playing with the stems of grass and the occasional dandelion. Completely lost in her own mind.

Rick stooped to pick up her book bag and walked up to where the little girl played. He squatted down in front of her.

"Joey." He said gently. She looked up at him and smiled before going back to the dandelion in her hand.

"Ready to go, princess?" He waited a few seconds before continuing. "It's just me and you for a while today. Mommy is helping your uncles for a while, but I thought we could make it into a father/daughter date."

Joey tilted her head to the side and looked questioningly up at her father.

"We're going to spend the whole day together, just the two of us. We will go have some lunch and then maybe we'll go to the park, or the beach, or maybe we'll go get some ice cream." He dropped his voice to a whisper "as long as you don't tell Mommy."

Joey giggled as she stood up. Rick stood too and scooped her up into his arms, which just made her giggle even more.

With Frozen backpack on his shoulders and giggling girl on his shoulders he made his way back out of the playground. He waved at Ms. Lindsey as they passed and Joey copied his actions from over his shoulder.

The young teacher couldn't help but smile at the father and daughter. Joey was always serious and a little bit intense in the classroom. She lightened up at recess, but did not like to play in the organized games they had for the kids to play together. She was a sweet little girl, but largely a mystery to everyone at the school. But she was a totally different kid when her parents were involved.

Every time she saw them she lit up like a Christmas tree. There was a brightness in her eyes and she actually became quite expressive. It always made Ms. Lindsey smile to see it.

PBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPPBPBPPPBPb

After a delicious meal of spaghetti and alfredo the pair headed down to the beach. Joey loved the ocean. Even when she couldn't get in it she still loved to be around it. The birds and other sea life fascinated the girl and making sandcastles and collecting shells were two of her favorite pass times.

Rick parked in a public space and unstrapped a clearly excited Joey out of her car seat. It was always amusing to see Joey so excited about a thing that she literally saw every day. She could take two steps out the back door and be on the very same beach, yet it excited her every time.

Rick took her hand and walked beside her as she skipped down to the beach. When they stepped off the boardwalk that led to the sand, he kept a grip on her hand, but let her take the lead.

She let go to explore a shell or run in a circle to watch a bird, but she always retook his hand and lead him on. She occasionally handed him a shell to put in her pocket or pointed to whatever had captured her attention. Every time she pointed he would explain what it was or tell her an interesting fact about the bird or tree that she had seen. Sometimes he even made up a little story about the bird or the hermit crab.

After a while of walking they came across a small tidal pool. He pointed it out and they both sat on a rock to study it more closely. There were all kinds of starfish and colorful coral to look at. There was even a small fish in this one that really captured Joey's attention.

He picked up the starfish and held it in his hand for her to feel and she was completely mesmerized. After a few minutes he put it back down in the water and turned to his daughter. She turned to him too, and looked right up at him, like she knew he wanted to talk to her.

He took a deep breath and began the conversation he had been planning all week. "Johanna, do you remember what happened at the end of Cinderella?"

The little girl thought for a moment before nodding her head and looking back up at her father.

"The prince married Cinderella so that they could live happily ever after and you know that Alexis, you, and Mommy are my princesses." Joey continued to nod. "Well a long time ago, before you were born, Mommy and I were going to get married. She had the most beautiful white dress to wear and everyone got all dressed up. There were flowers and decorations and it was beautiful." Rick hadn't actually been there, but he had seen the pictures Alexis had taken and saved from the day. Kate didn't know they existed, she had long since gotten rid of everything from that day, with the exception of her ring.

"We were very excited about it and I wanted nothing more than to give Mommy her happily ever after, but some bad people got in the way. They took me away from my family and locked me away so that I couldn't see them for a very long time." Joey put her hands up and roared like a lion. "Yes, they were monsters, but they are all gone now and there is nothing to be afraid of."

"Anyway, I want to ask Mommy to marry me again. I want us to all live happily ever after, always. You can be a flower girl and you will look just like a princess. We'll get Mommy a dress and Lexie, too. Would you be okay with that? If Mommy and Daddy got married?"

He couldn't think of a reason that Joey would want that, but he had to be sure. He didn't want her to be uncomfortable or feel left out. Most importantly he wanted her to feel involved. He wanted her to know that they both loved her and that they were all going to be together no matter what.

Joey turned away from him and back to the pool. Minutes passed and she just kept staring into the water, watching the fish swim and the coral sway slightly.

After a few minutes Castle put his hand on the little girls back and she turned toward him. Her eyes were clear and she was smiling as she pointed to the fish again.

"Yes, I see the fish. He's very cool." He took a deep breath and reminded himself of her age. It was a hard thing for her to understand and an even harder thing for him to explain.

"Do you want us to get married, baby?"

She looked him right in the eye and replied:

"Always."

**Not sure how I feel about this chapter (a bit cheesy at the end), but I felt like the conversation needed to be had. Let me know what you think! **


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